When Students Struggle

As college students flock home for the holidays, whether they’re your own children or belong to family or friends, they land under your direct influence for awhile. Sometimes the truth arrives along with grade reports and you find that they have been struggling this semester more than you realized. Problems can reveal themselves in academic, social, emotional or financial areas.

They left for college with high hopes and higher ambitions, but their expectations may not have been realistic. Perhaps they still haven’t got a lock on a direction yet, so they question the relevancy of their courses or are floundering. They may be having trouble with organic chemistry and begin to question their goal of a science or healthcare career.

Their roommate situation may be full of conflict or they just broke up with a boyfriend or girlfriend. The credit card that was to be used for emergencies only has crept into daily use and run up an alarming balance. They’re having trouble living within their budget.

Perhaps they started as a collegiate athlete, but have since injured themselves. Without a “Plan B” in place, they may drift as they grieve the loss of their college sports career.

Many students take on too much, with a full schedule of classes, a part-time job and a healthy social life. Time management and lack of planning are tripping them up; employing the technique of backwards planning can help significantly here.

Where can you turn for help? Here are some resources and suggestions in addition to the above links to articles:

1. Encourage them to reach out to the myriad of student services on campus: counseling center, career services, academic support, tutoring, residence hall staff, faculty advisors and writing clinics. You can help them locate these resources by searching the college’s website. These offices are staffed with individuals who have experience working with students and handling many of the common problem situations that arise. Your student’s situation may be new to your student, but college staff have seen a lot over the years and can be knowledgeable, calming and helpful.
2. A comprehensive career assessment including aptitudes, interests, values and personality can be key to identifying careers and college majors that are a great fit with their strengths. Once they explore possible careers and decide on a direction, they see the connection between class work and career more clearly, which fuels motivation and confidence.

How do we pick our kids up when they hit the wall? Open the door to candid communication, reserve judgment, and encourage exploration of the problem. Ask them questions rather than giving them answers. Help them think of alternatives and articulate the consequences of each option. And support them in their efforts to meet their own challenges as a young person growing into adulthood.