Creating Balance for Overscheduled Students

Today, building their child’s resume is a task that many parents begin while their children are still in high school. Why?

In some situations it is competition. For selective admission schools, parents and students know that grade point averages and test scores are not enough to be competitive in the college application process. And so resumes are filled with a host of extracurricular activities, accomplishments, awards, and leadership positions.

In other cases, it is enrichment. The parents want to provide their students with a multitude of opportunities. The array of choices and commitments can keep a teen or young adult busy 24/7. Typical school year schedules include academic classes (and a push for honors or AP classes), school and club sports, choir and/or band, private music/dance lessons, theatre, and service learning projects, to name a few. During the summer, student activities include camps, mission trips, volunteer commitments, youth groups, internships, babysitting and other part-time or summer jobs. Many of these activities are an all or nothing proposition, requiring attendance at all practices and related events, claiming time seven days a week, and even holidays previously reserved as family time. It is getting harder to for students to find the time to just hang out with friends.

Students differ widely in their ability to handle an aggressive schedule. How can parents be alert to signs that their children are overscheduled? Here are six proactive steps to create a healthy balance.

1. Stand back together and take a look at the whole picture.
   Introduce the use of a weekly or monthly planner to block out the time frames for activities. A monthly calendar or year-at-a-glance laminated poster hung on the wall of their room can also be effective planning tools – and handy reminders. Using different colors for the varied types of activities can help to visually organize their schedule. The trick is not to put the start time only, but to realistically account for the full time commitment expected to complete the goal. When is your student tackling their academics? Getting started at 9:00 or 10:00 p.m. is a key indicator that they are overscheduled!
2. Block out time for the true non-negotiables, like school, homework and sleep.
   The Mayo Clinic contends that most teens need about 9 hours of sleep to be alert and attentive during the day. What pattern are you seeing? Contrary to what you may hear, catching up on sleep on the weekend does not undo the damage done during the week. Lack of sleep results in fatigue, illness, poor concentration, mood swings, irritability, and behavioral problems.
3. Teach your student to prioritize.
   Do you see your child reacting to deadlines, or being in control of their time? Deciding what activities to be involved in hinges on establishing some kind of criteria. Help your children learn to be strategic. Discuss why an activity may be important – or not. Talking through this process, and putting it on paper makes planning more concrete and reality-based. Students can weigh their options more easily when they see it in black and white. It is a challenge as many students prefer the extracurricular involvements over their academics.
4. Make it okay to say no.
   When an activity doesn’t fit any more, reassure them that it is perfectly acceptable to take it off the list. Remind students of the benefits of balance and directing their energy toward their most rewarding activities. Parents may also need to come to terms with their child’s decision to discontinue an activity where the parents may have harbored dreams for them.
5. Once decisions are made, encourage your student to be fully involved.
   Being involved in an activity that is meaningful and challenging provides the highest level of satisfaction. It is what psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describes as “flow”, being fully immersed in an activity with energized focus, involvement, and success in doing the activity.
6. Ensure that there is sufficient time to allow for unstructured downtime.
   Students need unstructured downtime to be alone with their thoughts. When students or parents can step away from the busyness of their lives, they process life experiences, gain insights, learn about themselves, and can see things from a different perspective. Teach them to honor this reflection time, and help them protect it to stay in balance.